Saturday, 23 August 2014

Blue is for Boys?

With the 20 week scan a raging success, confirming all is good and he definitely is a "he", me flinching every time the midwife said "willy" and "scrotum" and my girlfriend spouting out "aaaahhhh" at an image of the cross section of our baby boys brain, we have now moved onto...

Furniture, prams, changing stations, cots, baskets, baths, blankets, weird sleeping bag type things

The list is endless! I have been thrown deeper into this new world of "WTF is that for?!".

My other half is already well on board with all these mad contraptions and absolutely MUST HAVE items, most of which have either been browsed, ordered or purchased by the grandparents under her strict supervision. I thought I would start with something I feel comfortable with...painting. Pick a colour and paint a few walls. Simple. We're having a boy so a nice blue (preferably an Everton blue), possibly some stencils of dinosaurs or cars on the wall? If only it was that easy!

"We can't be too gender specific"

Hang on, we're having a boy. That's pretty specific! That was my argument in a nutshell. Not that arguing with a pregnant lady gets you anywhere. Now, I do see where she is coming from. I want to raise my child to be confident in forming his own opinions, making his own choices, not to be too influenced by his surroundings and media on what's cool and what's not. But do I want him playing with a Barbie? Not really. I would never tell him he couldn't, nor would I fill his room with toy guns, footballs and action man. There is a fine line, and together we need to find it.

Back to the paint. Orange. Orange and cream. That was the "compromise". I'm hoping the bright orange coloured feature wall doesn't give the little man some type of ADHD or burn his retinas. I WILL be the first to say "I told you so" if that happens! A strange compromise, but a compromise nonetheless. The winner of this debate is ultimately going to be our child. There will come a time, sooner than we think, where he will want to choose his own coloured walls, clothes, hobbies and activities. Deep down, I can't help wanting him to like the same things I like...who wouldn't?! Despite being at the other end of the scale, my other half has made me realise that I will actually have to work pretty hard on this. I want my son to be an individual, not a carbon copy of myself. I feel that, for now, while these choices of wall colour and bedding are somewhat trivial, I will stay neutral.

As I find myself coming to some sort of conclusion here, I can also see the challenges on the horizon:

  • By encouraging him to be an individual, am I in some way moulding him into what I want?
  • I want to be there to guide him, but where does guidence end and persuasiveness start?
  • At what point do I need to step in and TELL him what is right and wrong?
Answers on postcard please  :-/

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